One of the hardest things about receiving a diagnosis so late in life is the 32 years of internalized feelings of not being good enough and needing to try harder. In truth, we live in a world not built for my neurospicy brain. Because of the way ADHD is talked about in society, it’s easy to forget it’s actually very serious, and dramatically impacts the way we live every second of the day.

Productivity Shame

One of the ways it impacts us the most is around productivity. Our easily distracted, executive dysfunctioning brains can struggle with doing things at all, let alone in a timely and ‘productive’ fashion, which can feel shaming.

Now listen, productivity shame isn’t unique to women with ADHD, but we tend to feel it more profoundly and struggle more with it. Why is that?

First, let’s consider context. Society has certain expectations for women: tending to the household and children, calendar management, cleaning and organizing, meal planning, etc. Not only are we meant to be good at those things, but if we dare to admit we’re not good at those things or don’t have any desire to pursue them, we’re often met with disapproval, told to try harder, or given generic organizational hacks to help us figure it out.

Are you eye-rolling as hard as I am?

It can also be challenging when people who love us don’t understand how much ADHD impacts our day-to-day lives, why it can make things so challenging or how much tension it can create.

Our society prioritizes hustle culture and productivity over everything. We have so many blogs and Instagram accounts talking about maximizing every second of the day. We’re pushed to produce nonstop, and be as productive as humanly possible.

The world is structured counterintuitively to how we ADHD’rs move through it, and it can be tricky when we don’t have a choice to opt out of the expectations for us to be on a precise schedule.

Things to Keep in Mind

We don’t generally operate in a linear, productive way, so honor your ebbs and flows. The weeks you have more energy, take advantage! Spend more time with your organizational systems, doing things, reaching out to people, etc., while being gentle and non-judgemental with yourself on the weeks you have less energy and need to conserve more of it.

Also, remember your ebbs and flows will likely be impacted by your cycle, so tracking your cycle could help with scheduling bursts of energy against weeks where rest should be more of a priority.

Tell me if this sounds like you:

• Feels overwhelmed by all there is to accomplish and decides a method of organization is needed

• Starts researching every productivity method ever

• Six hours later, finds something “perfect,” and proceeds to throw time and money at this new perfect solution

• Life is changed for two weeks

• Forget productivity hack exists

• Remember productivity hack exists

• Get frustrated that nothing ever works, and never touch it again

I know how often I’ve done the same thing with so many different options. Here’s the thing—we’re not great at consistency. But what if that wasn’t the barometer for success? What if it was ok if you skipped a week, a month or two, and could just come back to systems that worked without judgment?

The Main Event: Productivity Hacks

Make the first thing you do every day something pleasurable.

We tend to struggle with executive dysfunction, so start your day with something you want to do. Meditation, yoga, working out, a delicious breakfast—whatever it is, make it something just for you!

(1) Break down your tasks into sub-tasks

This is a HUGE one for me. If things seem too daunting, I will endlessly ignore them, so I break bigger projects down into more actionable items. It’s a win-win; I get to cross more things off my to-do list, AND it’s easier to keep track of where things are without asking myself, “what were we doing?”

(2) Give yourself an easy win

You know that expression “an object in motion stays in motion?” Well, that can be true for those of us with ADHD. Start your day off with a small win to get (and hopefully keep) the ball rolling.

(3) Make boring tasks more fun

We love when things are fun, so use that to your advantage! Hate folding laundry? Do it with your partner and ask each other fun questions to pass the time. Hate handwashing dishes? Put your favorite audiobook or podcast on while you do it. Whatever it is, find ways to create more fun in the mundane.

(4) Find an accountability buddy

Sometimes it helps to have someone around to ensure you do the thing. This can be asking a friend to come over and support you while you complete a task, or inviting a friend over every two weeks because you know you’ll clean your space if you have people coming over, or sitting on TikTok with other people with ADHD and working together virtually.

(5) Give your brain a doom box

Most of us know people with ADHD love a doom box or bowl—a physical place in each room to collect everything that randomly appears. I think it’s essential to have a space like that for your brain, too. We often think of brilliant things at the most inopportune time. Having space where we can just brain-dump our thoughts until we have time to return to them can be tremendously helpful.

Find What Works for You

We’re all different! What works for one person won’t work for everyone. I have tried SO many productivity tools—project management apps, bullet journals, planners—each with pros and cons. Now I know I need something digital. As much as I love the creativity of bullet journals, I need to be able to adjust my tasks, meetings, etc., on the go. I need something flexible to turn it into precisely what I need—but what I need and what you need are different things.

I found a way to build an external hub in my brain to seamlessly function on my laptop and my phone in Notion and never looked back—but that might not be the solution for you. I found this incredible list on Reddit, including tons of tools and tricks that specifies who it might work (and not work) for.

Remember: moving through the world with ADHD isn’t a problem you solve; it’s a way of being. We can build systems around those ways of being to help us thrive in a world not built for us.